My semester in Dublin so far is the best I’ve ever had. It’s been a wonderful, exciting adventure that’s proven to be transformative and spiritually enlightening. But like any semester, it has also had its fair share of oddities, and I’ve encountered plenty of them. Here’s 3 things about my time in the dirty ole town that have inspired me to scratch my head and say, “Huh?”
1. The Metro Herald and Its Crazy Headlines
A common feature of my morning walk to school is evading various men and women wearing neon jackets on the sidewalks who attempt to sell me newspapers. While this actually sounds terrifying, most of these people are harmless and what they’re selling is a free newspaper called Metro Herald, Ireland’s leading news publication for the criminally insane. Seriously, if you haven’t read a copy of Metro Herald, you’re really missing out. I’m never sure if it’s meant to be hilarious or it just comes off that way unintentionally. Either way, I enjoy the heck out if it. Headlines never match up with their accompanying photo, feature stories are usually about irrelevant stuff, and you’re left wondering whose responsible for it all (presumably the animals in the city zoo.) A typical Metro Herald front page is something like this: the main headline tells of a recent snowstorm in Dublin and it’s accompanied by . . . a photo of a prize-winning pig. Uh, what? Also, a headline on the front page last week read, “I’m About to Tell Steve Buscemi He’s Ugly!” After all that, who needs The Irish Times?
2. The Horse Meat Scandal
One of the bigger news stories at the start of this semester came when the Food Safety Authority of Ireland announced it found traces of horse meat in frozen burgers sold in Irish grocery stores. It initially appeared the problem would quickly remedy itself. But it didn’t. Great Britain came forward with a similar report soon after. Then came France, then Lithuania, then Netherlands and pretty soon all of Europe was up in arms over frickin’ horse meat. The story was blown up as a scandal of Watergate proportions and after four months, the horse meat scandal continues. Needless to say, the bad publicity put me off to meat products for a brief time (except for you, chicken nuggets. I’ll always love you). I am actually surprised horse meat caused such a stir. With the exception of Margaret Thatcher’s death and Cypress receiving a bailout, horse meat remains Europe’s biggest stories. Go figure.
3. Flump
On a field trip to Northern Ireland, my friends and I came across a rather bizarre snack food in the Giant’s Causeway gift shop. It was bright pink, smothered in confectionary sugar, and coiled into a form not unlike an intestine. This delicacy, of course, was flump and if you think that word sounds funny when reading it your head, trying saying it aloud—you’ll never be the same. Flump is basically one long roll of marshmallow with zero nutritional or spiritual value. When I first ate a chunk of it, I just felt funky, like as if I were about to grow a third eyeball or start speaking in tongues. I never experimented with flump again and I was shocked to learn that flump is actually a common confectionary treat in the United Kingdom, although I’m not sure what sort of person would ever consume something like it on a regular basis. I’m guessing it’s the same type of person who obsesses over horse meat and gets their news from Metro Herald. But you never know . . .
-Cameron Williams
Champlain Abroad Dublin, Spring 2013
Professional Writing Major
Champlain College, Class of 2014